Pregnant at 19, Married at 20, Separated at 23

Biola Makanjuola a Canada-based Nigerian relationship coach took to her Facebook page to share her experience of getting pregnant when she was 19 and her marriage to her baby daddy at age 20 thinking a marriage to her child’s father would fix things for her and then separation at 23 due to emotional abuse and a toxic relationship.

She encourages people who have experienced similar feelings of despair.

She says:

“Got pregnant at the age of 19, was zero’d out, condemned, alone and lost. Became a mother & thought it best to make it official with my son’s dad at the age of 20

Got into unhealthy patterns in our relationship that led to emotional abuse and toxicity for the most part. Finally got the courage to separate at the age of 23 after going through an abortion and Sexually Transmitted Disease.

This started my downward spiral into involving myself in multiple toxic relationships between the ages of 24 – 27 Confused, lost, dark, toxic relationships was my drug of choice. Felt unworthy, self-esteem dragging on the floor begging to be picked up, had little or no confidence, gave up my power to define who I was to other people because I just hated the woman I had become. I constantly questioned why I was so different and abnormal.

My body defined my worth. I clearly had nothing to offer. My single motherhood didn’t even help. They said I couldn’t do any better because of my baggage. I agreed with them and gave them my power. It was their word over mine.

Finally got tired of engaging in this toxic cycle and decided to embrace my difference. At this point, I was tired! I was sick! I was done! I found my light towards the end of 2016.

Found the love I had been seeking the whole time in myself. Things started clicking. I found my purpose. I realized I had a story to tell and was determined to share. I was worthy and enough the whole time and didn’t even know it. I finally found my voice and I promised myself to speak my truth.

I promised God that if he took me out of my misery and showed me the way, I will spend the rest of my life serving.
Currently serving and growing a tribe of women who believe in their power to create their stories and would do anything to make it happen”.